Home again

Well after almost nine months of having fun I'm back where it all began, lovely Leeds. I'm not too sure if the title of this post is really acurate, "Home again". I certainly have all my stuff here now and I'm here for a while until I find a job. But thats just it. When I get a job I'll probably move so really I'm just hanging out here until something comes up. It could be a couple weeks if things move quickly or a couple months or more if things aren't looking so promising. Hopefully I manage to find a job in good time and don't have to sweat it out here to long. Not to say that I don't like it here, on the contrary, it's quite nice. I have a good group of friends here and like the city. The weather is even nice and sunny right now, but I'm not sure I can call it home.

I've been thinking about this concept of home the last few days. I was talking Glen on the ride home after hanging out with the boys for the last time about this and he said "The Bay Area will always be your home". I guess he's right. There is something there which I will always be connected to despite the years passing but I can't really see myself returning there for a couple of years minimum. So England has to be my home. But to call something home by default just because you live there doesn't work. I found this in Detroit. I moved out there with no real plans to move on at any time. I was living and worknig out there for almost two years and yes, if someone asked where I was living then I would obviously say Detroit. But thats different from where home is. Although I think I would have said home was Detroit at that time I'm not sure I really believed it. I think in the back of my mind I always knew I wasn't really home, or if it was going to be home it would take a good few years to earn the title. So where is home? I guess I don't know right now because I don't know where I'll be next year. I don't really want to call Leeds home because when I get a job, chances are it won't be here. It will be down in the midlands somewhere. So I guess home will be England but I just don't know where yet. Even when I get a job and move to where ever it may be it will still take some time to really feel like home. I suppose thats really it, you need more than a quick few years to call something home. I've never quite resolved where I'm from or where home is because I've moved around quite a bit. I suppose home is the Bay Area. I grew up there and my parents live there. But I wouldn't say I'm definitively from the Bay Area since I did grow up in England and that was a big part of who I am, even just through the influence of the culture through my parents. So I guess it will take a while before I can call some where home again.

Anyway, I had a pretty good trip back with only a few delays. It started after a couple hours sleep at 4:00am in California (12:00 BST) on Wednesday and I didn't get into Leeds until 4:30pm (16:30 BST) on Thursday. So almost 30 hours travelling with maybe 8 hours sleep a couples hours at a time in the last 46 hours before I went to bed last night. Like I said I was only delayed once waiting for my flight out of Charlotte but I still made all my connections to trains once I hit England. The most testing thing was the final bus ride back in Leeds. I'd been travelling for close to 30 hours, I had a 70lb (32kg) snowboard bag that thankfully had wheels to roll it around, a 50lb (23kg) backpack and a heavy carry on that I'd been dragging around through airports, train stations, the underground and across town and I'd finally made it to the last connection, the bus home. I heaved all my crap on the bus and was ready to settle down for the final leg but there was stil one test for me. As I sat down this guy sits right next to me. Fine. Then he starts talking to me in this low mumble with a broad yorkshire accent. It wasn't so bad that you couldn't understand what he was saying but it certainly took some effort. He starts saying something about going to university and how he's starting a course and has to buy a laptop and sign up for classes and all tha sort of stuff. Now this guy is probably in his 30's and doesn't really look like a university type but he's on about open university and who knows, maybe he's taking a class or two and trying to improve himself, who knows. One thign I do know is that he stinks of booze. Anyway, he won't leave me alone. Starts asking if I'm going to university and all that. I'm crap at lying and I actually was replying honestly that I didn't go to uni any more but trying to give the shortest most deadend answers to end the conversation. But he was having none of it. In fact he was convinced he knew me. Well maybe not. He might have known that he really didn't know me but it didn't stop him pretending he knew me to carry on the conversation to try and learn about me. He would say things like:

"So, yeah, you still ... err ... living up the road, you know ... err ... by the um ... what's it called ... you know the shop there ..."

To which I'd reply "No, I don't know what you're talking about." trying to end the conversation. And he would carry on.

"Oh, I know, I remember now, you're up the hill from my misses, my ex that is ... you know Julie round the corner ..."

After a while I was trying to stop him by saying "Look, I really don't think I know you, I have no idea what you're talking about." But that was no sign to stop for this man. He just carried on.

"Oh no, I remember you ... I see you all the time. You know Doncaster Dave right? You know ... he's the one who came round with Ringo the other night ... if you need a phone he's got the best deals, just go round tell him I sent you, no problem ... You can get pay as you go from the bank ... or no, don't bother with the bank, see Jimmy up the road ..."

And on and on it went. I tried ignoring him as much as possible but it just wouldn't work. I wsa just praying he would get off at a stop before me. I had all kinds of visions of him stalking me off the bus and trying to come over for tea or something. Needless to say this was not what I wanted to deal with. Luckily he got off the bus after a while so I only had to endure about half an hour of this onslaught. In the end I guess it was harmless but certainly not the welcome home I wanted. In any case I made it back. I was safe and sound in Leeds with my stuff and thats all that mattered.

I think it really helped me that the weather was at least sunny and nice. I began this post with my struggle to figure where home is and I think if I'd landed in London and it had been pissing down with rain and generally miserable, like England can be, I would have been having second thougts. As far as I could guess, if I stuck around the USA and got a job, I would be on about double the salary. Meaning that I'd have about twice the spending power over there. So I could afford a nicer car, buy a nicer house and have more toys. Basically I figure that I will have taken four years (well five now), and bunch of money to get a PhD, a further qualification, but take a pay cut compared to what I was earning in Detroit. Now, there are some stipulations though. First is that getting a job out there would be a lot more difficult. I don't have any professional connections out there and if I wanted to live in California or Colorado the industry I'm interested in isn't there. So in practicality, if I was to get a job it would have to be in Detroit or it would take a while to find one in California or Colorado, which may not be very possible. But regardless, for the purpose of this argument lets assume I could get a job out in the USA some where nice, like California or Colorado. If we go with that, I'd be on a much better salary that could get me a lot more toys and I'd be living some where with big mountains and good weather for all the outdoor fun I'd want. The problem is that I wouldn't have the job I've been working towards for the last, oh I don't know lets say, 10 years. I really want to work in the racing industry and the best place to do it is in England and thats why I'm here. Now don't get me wrong, England isn't all bad, it's certainly much better than Detroit. Out here they actually have some mountains, even if they are small. But if I want to go climbing, hiking, paddling or what ever else they do have it here, it's just on a smaller scale. Whats more is that I have a good group of friends out here who are into all the outdoor stuff so I have people to do it all with. So really its pretty good in England, its just that after having a season boarding in Breck and rafting on the Arkansas I've had it good. If I'd come back to the prospects of no job and less money when I do get a job, and to top it off the weather was miserable I think I'd be having some pretty depressing thoughts about why I'd decided to come back. Luckily, that isn't the case. The weather is nice and I've got a call back from McLaren about a job so all in all things are starting to look up. The real test will come in the next few weeks and months so I'll keep updating the blog and we'll see where I live next, maybe it will become home some day.